No; being “left behind” isn’t that bad.... Next question please

With my crazy family at OR Thambo International

From the day my parents, decided to move to France with my youngest brother we as a family had to answer the same question(s) over and over again. You can ask any third culture kid and they can easily relate to the same nuisance.  However you start to develop the ability to answer with a standardised reply and try to imitate the same enthusiasm as the individual you are talking too.

Now I don’t want to sound like a jerk. I understand that people care and are interested in what’s happening with our lives. But when you travel the country and meet hundreds of different people you realise it is challenging to treat everyone’s inquiries in to your personal life with a genuine interest. This challenge reached a new level when my father, Martin Snr, published his autobiography “edge of paradise”.  Just as we thought it couldn’t get more difficult, my already famous Mom and Dad decided, for missions purposes, to move to Paris. This decision was met with a yearlong travel, meetings, strangers and the inevitable questions.

Here are some examples:

-          “How was life in Turkey and how do you compare it with South Africa?”

-          “You must be so proud of your father! Will you also become a missionary? “

-          “Are you going with them?”

And the most annoying of them all which follows the previously mentioned question                        (normally I Struggle to keep my cool with this particular one):

-          “What will you do with yourself all alone, now that your family is leaving you behind?!?”

My answer:

-          ” I do have a life of my own! Thank you very much for your concern but I am very happy with my studies in Potchefstroom. They are not ‘leaving’ me. In fact I moved out of the house some time ago!!!!! @!$%@#*&!!!! “

Now that I got that off my chest, let me return to the topic... Yes my Parents moved to France. They packed up 6 years of sunny Africa in 3 suitcases, took my little 13 year old brother Samuel with them and hoped on a Paris bound flight.                                                                                                                               BUT! They gave me and Benjamin the choice to join them in their new adventure as missionaries in Europe. For certain reasons we declined the offer. It was time for me to embark on my solo life journey and I moved out of the bustling city to a quiet university town. Benjamin wanted to finish his final 2 years at high school in a language he could actually understand. My lovely Mother and Father did not leave us behind; we gave them the freedom to go!                                                                                                        It is us who left them...

A week before their flight, my family had an “open house day”. It was an opportunity for all their friends, relatives (they really shouldn’t have bothered) and acquaintances to pop in and say their goodbye. We lost count at around the 200^th person. My poor mother, Petro, was running around from 7 the morning to 7 at night,  catering for her guests. Naturally we had to mingle with them. I guess it was the most difficult 12 hours I experienced as a TCK... By now many people knew I would stay In South Africa. But this didn’t save me from the questioning torture. Being the first son, grandson, nephew...family idiot ... who managed to enrol in a university thus I had the obligation to give a full report on the coveted student life. My studies were an easy target for anyone who felt the need to break the ice with me. I am quite surprised how many people were actualy interested in economics.  Needles to say, my introverted self started to make an appearance around late afternoon. It was around this time my lovely friend Zonika came to my rescue. She shoved me in to her beaten old student car, drove off to a local park and gave me an ice cold beer to drink. I owe her allot! Refreshed I returned to an half empty home... in a much better mood than I left.

My heroine Zonika!

I want to conclude with thanking all the family friends, colleagues, acquaintances and the dreaded relatives for showing your care and support in the “de Lange” family’s crazy adventures all over the world. I am sorry if didn’t seem too interested in your questions. Please forgive me. Next time will try harder to cover it up with a better smile... But please stop worrying with what I will do in my life!! It is kind of personal... 

Greetings;

Martin jnr.